Waves of Change

Sometimes life moves so fast. It’s like at one point I think everything is settled and going steady and then a wave comes and knocks over all my tidy plans. And when I have to pick those plans back up, they look different than before. And then that works for a while until another wave comes. Life is a never-ending wave of change. And it’s not even always in a bad way. Sometimes it’s the biggest blessing. But it can be stressful, confusing, and sometimes hard to understand.

I’ve been thinking a lot about myself two years ago. I was a freshman in college and so unsure of myself. Did I pick the right school? Would people judge me for staying close to home? Would I ever get my driver’s license? Is it okay if my ideal Friday night looks like pj’s and a rom-com with my roommate? I had plans to study abroad and live in my sorority house. The idea of college was laid out neatly in my mind. Until the biggest wave of all came and flipped whatever I thought college looked like before on its head. And despite everything I lost in that wave, what was built back turned into some of the biggest blessings in my life. I’ve become the stronger version of myself I always hoped I could be. Sometimes I wish I could hug me from two years ago and tell her to just abandon every plan and maybe that she would eventually get that license. But mostly when I look back as myself two years ago, I just feel proud of how far I’ve come.

I think one of the biggest things I’ve learned is that when change comes, while sometimes normally our external environment moves not everything has to always shift. For example how you view yourself. It is maybe the easiest thing in the world to sink into insecurity when things change. When you step outside of the bubble of the people who you know love you back. Loving yourself is a journey we are all on and some parts of it are easier than others. But when this happens, I have to remind myself of who I am at my core. Your values, thoughts, ideas, hopes, and dreams don’t have to change to fit the mold of a new environment. Keep remembering that who you are, exactly as is, is beautiful. You don’t need to be anyone else. And as I’m writing this I’m reminding myself of it. The right people and places will love you for all that you already are.

Another thing I’m being reminded of is how grateful I am that I don’t have to walk through the journey of change and self-love alone. The comfort I find in Jesus is like no other. I know I am being looked out for and guided in the direction I need to go. Life is too hard to navigate alone. We can read the map and make plans to stop at destinations but without God, all that becomes is a long road trip with an uncertain destination. You are loved by God as is. You are perfect, strong, and capable as you are. He doesn’t need you to become anything you are not. It’s such a freeing and comforting feeling.

So friend, more than anything I hope you know you are loved. I hope you know you are strong. I hope you know that everything you are is more than enough. I can’t tell you when your next wave of change will come or what it might bring to your life. I can’t tell you what plans it might crash into or what blessings it might wash ashore. But as you stand there, I hope you remember two things. That you are not alone and that who you are is still exactly you who can be. Here’s to embracing the waves as they come, you never know what each new one will bring.

All the love always, Annie