What If

What if is a phrase I find myself saying quite a bit. It’s more powerful than it appears. Because the what ifs in life potentially have the power to hold us back from it. I’ve been a sideline kind of girl for a long time. I didn’t want to play any games or try new things because I was afraid I might mess up and look dumb so I’d say “y’all go ahead, I’ll watch and cheer you on.” I mean what if I messed up? I didn’t like big gatherings because I might get left alone or have no one to talk to. “I’m actually pretty busy tonight, but have a great time.” I mean what if I looked dumb? I didn’t want to go out for a sports team or join many clubs because what if I wasn’t any good? “I’m just not very athletic so I’m not going to try out.” What if I was the worst one there? I have lived in the what ifs for a long time. All the thoughts of what might happen kept me from the potentially good things that could happen. And for a while I was ok with that, I was good living a life of no change. Things were mostly predictable and easy to understand. And then finally, after a long period of self-reflection I asked myself “what if you didn’t worry so much about the what ifs?”
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