What if is a phrase I find myself saying quite a bit. It’s more powerful than it appears. Because the what ifs in life potentially have the power to hold us back from it. I’ve been a sideline kind of girl for a long time. I didn’t want to play any games or try new things because I was afraid I might mess up and look dumb so I’d say “y’all go ahead, I’ll watch and cheer you on.” I mean what if I messed up? I didn’t like big gatherings because I might get left alone or have no one to talk to. “I’m actually pretty busy tonight, but have a great time.” I mean what if I looked dumb? I didn’t want to go out for a sports team or join many clubs because what if I wasn’t any good? “I’m just not very athletic so I’m not going to try out.” What if I was the worst one there? I have lived in the what ifs for a long time. All the thoughts of what might happen kept me from the potentially good things that could happen. And for a while I was ok with that, I was good living a life of no change. Things were mostly predictable and easy to understand. And then finally, after a long period of self-reflection I asked myself “what if you didn’t worry so much about the what ifs?”
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I am currently in the midst of a crazy busy season of life. One thing seems to be together and then all of the sudden I have 20 new things that need to be taken care of. I feel like I’m on a boat with a bunch of holes and when I finally get one hole patched up another opens. It’s nonstop action. Anyway, lately I’ve felt super anxious and stressed trying to keep it all together and in the midst of all of it, I feel like I’ve forgotten to step back and remember what truly matters.
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Fear is something I deal with a lot. I’ve talked about it before and probably will again after today. It’s frustrating dealing with something you want to get rid of so badly but no matter how many times you push, pull, or pray it’ll leave, stupid fear seems happily lodged into place. Lately I seem to have a mix of quick everyday fears and bigger more important ones. I worry about tests and plans and making a schedule. Little things that eventually fade away. And then bigger fears like where I’m going to go to college and what will I do for a job, where will I end up? Those are just some of my fears and I’d guess you probably have some of your own. Fear can very much have a big place in our life.
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In life, I find it is so easy to build off of other people’s struggles. It’s something I think we all do, potentially some of us more than others. But unfortunately, we live in a world where this is so encouraged and normal. I’ve been thinking about it, I mean it’s like every time you turn on the news or check twitter or Facebook someone’s talking negatively about peoples mistakes and struggles and mostly these are people they’ve never even met. I think sometimes people feel better talking about and criticizing other people’s struggles because it makes theirs seem more valid. We read articles about celebrity drama in hopes of feeling better about our own lives or feeling entertained for a couple minutes at the least. We talk bad about people to our best friend in an unfulfilling attempt to feel superior. We build off the struggles of others. But what we should be doing is building off the successes of others.
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