Strong and Courageous

Strong & Courageous are two words I try to live by. For me being a christian means being Strong & Courageous. It means standing up for what you believe in no matter what. It means still believing even on the hard days. It means that there will be highs and there will be lows. There will be mistakes and wrong turns. But there will also be happiness and joy and strength and courage. 

I’ve talked about my anxiety before but it’s something that is ever changing and I’m always growing and struggling within it. I had the worst anxiety of my life the week before I left for college. Sick to my stomach nervousness took over me. I’ve had a panic attack before. They only ever last a couple minutes and then I’m fine but this time the panic I normally feel in those tiny bubbles of time lasted days and I was extremely frustrated and exhausted. Being honest, going to college totally freaks me out. Don’t get me wrong I’m so excited too it’s just there’s this part of me that does not know how to process this much change at once. And all of that built up excitement and fear fell on me at one time and it was awful. I tired to distract myself from the comfort of home but the constant lingering panic didn’t leave. I was scared to leave the house out of fear of being sick and I convinced myself that I was going to feel like this forever. My dad made me realize that I needed to leave the house and prove to myself that those fears swirling around in my head weren’t true. & so I did.  And I didn’t feel sick or afraid after awhile. I just felt strong and courageous. And it’s weird because it’s not how you’d picture strength and courage. It’s not a big heroic moment. But it was me, standing up to fear and trusting in someone greater than me. And to me that felt brave.

 

We all fear things. Some of us little things and some of us have bigger deeper fears. Some of us fight anxiety and some of us never really have to worry about it. But we all can be strong and courageous in our daily lives. There’s no formula for it. It’s just about standing up in your faith and not letting the things we fear stop us from life. Do we mess up sometimes? Yep. But we can learn from that and it has the potential to make us even stronger. 

 

I am probably one of the most indecisive people ever. That’s dramatic but honestly probably true. It took me until April 31st ( the last day before decision day ) to decide where I was going to college. ( sorry mom ). I kept thinking of all the ways my life would look different at each school and I had no idea what to pick. Eventually I decided on Rollins College. A school I never in a million years thought I’d attend. It’s very close to home and I was determined to go somewhere new. But the harder I tried to push Rollins out of the picture the more wrong it felt and I eventually knew that’s where I was meant to be. In my mind college always looked like football stadiums, and big sorority houses. And in some cases it is, but it doesn’t have to. It took me a while to understand that. There is no mold for what going to college or really anywhere your heading in life is supposed to look like. We all have different paths and that’s good! It took strength for me to realize that the school for me was in the same town I grew up in and that although it’s not what I pictured it’s pretty amazing. Now as I’m moving in I’m so excited to be close to my family + dogs, and to get to still see them whenever I want!!! It’s a new journey for me but they still get to be right there with me for it and for me that’s exciting. But it was so hard to come to this realization. It took strength and courage for me to let go of the image of college I had built in my mind and to let myself trust the Lord. And again not really how you’d picture courage but for me, it was!!! It was courage to push past the fears of being unsure and instead placing my full trust in God!

 

We can be strong and courageous every day. Every morning when we wake up and decide to go out and be examples of Christ, that takes courage. Because we know we’ll mess up. We’ll make wrong turns and fall into low periods. But we’ll also find the strength to get back up and keep trying. Because we’ll also have really good moments that help us to keep learning and growing and finding so much joy in living for Christ!

 

I was reminded of a beautiful quote by a really great author, Jordan Lee Dooley. “A ship is safe in the harbor but that harbor isn’t what it’s made for”. That’s my favorite quote at the moment and what I’m holding on to as I head into the unknown waters of College!!! It’s exciting and nerve racking all at once!! Sure, there’s definitely a part of me that feels safe and comfortable where I am. But I’m learning that to discover the plans meant for me, sometimes I have to leave the places I feel most comfortable.

 

There is so much strength and courage within you friend. Even on the days where it feels like there’s none. I’ve been there. And it’s not fun. But we have to find that strength to keep trying. And that strength comes from the one who never leaves you. The one who stands next to you and picks you up when you fall short. The one who celebrates with you in the highs and stays with you in the lows. The one who reminds us that we are strong and courageous and with that instilled in us there is not one fear we cannot overcome!!

 

All the love, Annie 

 

“Be Strong and Courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” – Joshua 1:9

 

Linking Jordan’s book “Own your Everyday” here!! It’s so good, go check it out!!!

https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Breaking-Insecurities-Expectations-Pressure/dp/0735291497