I got my Drivers License Last Week

Well to be fair, I got it about two weeks ago at this point, but I had to use the title! For as long as I can remember, I’ve been scared of driving. I’m also scared of telling people I’m scared of driving. Because driving is something people do when they turn 16. It’s supposed to be exciting. But for me, it has always been a terrifying endeavor. I think it’s one of those things that’s hard to understand for the people who were excited to get their license. Because to lots of people, this fear makes no sense. And for so long, I lived in the potential embarrassment of that fear.

Another thing about me is I hate upsetting people. If I feel like I’ve upset someone, it stays with me for days. This isn’t a super realistic or ideal way to live but it is how I’ve felt for a large portion of my life. It’s something that I think the more you acknowledge and actively try and take control of, the better is gets. But anyway, I began to realize the act of driving didn’t really bother me, it was more everything that came with it. I was terrified of getting in an accident or annoying someone on the road. This is not a realistic or healthy mindset to live in. Because in reality, life happens and we aren’t perfect people. And so in return, sometimes people might be annoyed or upset at me. A truth I am learning to live with.

But for so long that fear of upsetting someone on the road or of not being able to control what others on the road did rooted me. I lived in that fear. And thank the Lord I have parents who love me through my fears and lead me towards over coming them. My sweet mom and dad have never failed to provide me with a ride and I truly don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t. I’ve also had sweet friends and a determined uncle in my life that have so kindly done the same. Every person that has ever given me a ride somewhere I couldn’t have gotten without, means more to me than I can say. I very much appreciate you. 

So with all that to say, about two weeks ago, I got my drivers liscense. Which feels so crazy to say and honestly so surreal. I just keep thinking about the fact that I can go to grocery store whenever I want now and it’s extremely exciting (lol). I remember for years, I stayed up at night, paralyzed by the fear that I would never drive. That I would let this fear control me. It rooted me in place. And after a while, I wasn’t even sure what I was afraid of anymore. It was like the idea of this fear was scarier than act of driving. I prayed for peace and for courage and I received it so gracefully. When I took my drivers test, I felt calm. And honestly it’s one of those things that you just could feel the Lord in. Like he had a hand on my shoulder, telling me I had nothing to fear. And it was like the hold that fear had on me, left.

My favorite verse is Joshua 1:9 Be Strong and Courageous. Do not be afraid or Discouraged. For the Lord, Your God is with you wherever you go. So friends, I’m clinging to that right now. I’m pushing myself to be braver than my fears. It’s not easy, and it’s not always fast. I mean, here I am 5 years later. But all that doesn’t even matter. What matters is I didn’t let him the fear win in the end. And I found strength in the Lord. You are more than what scares you. You are strong and you are brave. The world needs you. There is nothing you can’t do. So here’s to facing fears and braving the roads. Taking life one day at a time over here and celebrating every little and big win. Sending a big big hug!

All the Love, Annie