Through the good and the bad

I think we live in a world where it’s very easy to be grateful for the good in our lives and even easier to be upset at the bad. People say “God is good all the time.” And when life is flowing smoothly we say it back with a smile on our face. But when things are rocky it’s easy to look the other way in remorse. One thing I think we as Christians do often is forget to seek God in the good and the bad. We’re all about praising Him in celebration but sometimes I think we forget that even on the bad days He is still so good.

I’ve talked a little bit about my anxiety before but never really in depth. Mentally I’m so much better and have really had a lot of growth. But recently I had my first panic attack and it was the scariest thing I’ve personally ever experienced. I’ve tried to push it out of my head and not even think about it because it freaked me out so much. Panic attacks often come out of nowhere and you have absolutely no control. Last week I woke up at 9 am basically in the middle of a panic attack. The minute I opened my eyes I felt extremely nauseous, I ran to the bathroom and you can probably guess what happened. In the middle of this my vision blurred to complete darkness. I was dizzy and scared because I had no idea what was going on. This lasted probably only two minutes but it felt like forever. I came back to my bed and cried because I was genuinely so scared. Later I realized I had a panic attack and I still literally have no clue why.

I couldn’t understand why this had happened. It was easy for me to ask God why he created me with anxiety and why I had this scary thing happen to me. But that was wrong of me to think. Because one, God created each of us in his perfect image and two, He knows what He’s doing. Life isn’t perfect and sometimes it’s really hard, but that doesn’t mean God stops being good. The biggest thing I’ve learned recently is that God doesn’t waste our pain. He uses it for goodness and for growth. Jesus doesn’t cause the bad things to happen to us. Instead he takes those things, grasps our hand and uses that hurt as a stepping stone to keep us moving farther up the mountain of life.

The other night I was at dinner with my family and the Bears vs Eagles football game was on. It was the last play of the game and the Bears kicker had to make the point to win the game and advance further in the playoffs. His kick was blocked and the ball hit the goal post. I immediately felt so bad for this guy. What a not fun play to end the season on. But later I saw the video on twitter and I watched as the kicker still pointed up to God and thanked him. It left me in awe. So often we see football players point to God when the win or make a good play. But never had I witnessed a player thank God after a mistake. And wow it really brought me to tears. Because that’s how we need to act always. God is still good when we make mistakes, get our hearts broken, and when bad things just happen in general. He takes that pain and turns it into glory and grace if you put your hand in his. He takes our hurt and makes us whole.

So yes, sometimes we have hard days. Sometimes really bad things happen. But it is so important to remember that even through these things, God is still so good. He hasn’t given up on you just because you are hurting. The plan God has for all of our lives is more spectacular than we can even comprehend. You are so loved through the good and the bad. You are loved on the days you win the game and on the days you miss the winning shot. Trust him in your hurt and in your joy. There is purpose in all our seasons of life. He really is good all the time friends. Through the good and the bad, you are truly loved.

 

All the love, Annie