Sometimes life moves so fast. It’s like at one point I think everything is settled and going steady and then a wave comes and knocks over all my tidy plans. And when I have to pick those plans back up, they look different than before. And then that works for a while until another wave comes. Life is a never-ending wave of change. And it’s not even always in a bad way. Sometimes it’s the biggest blessing. But it can be stressful, confusing, and sometimes hard to understand.
Hi friends! Wow, I just absolutely cannot believe another year has almost passed. This might have been the fastest year yet in my opinion! Looking back on everything is pretty wild. Although sometimes I find it hard to look back on a year. There are so many emotions and experiences packed into 365 days before we have to restart the clock to 1 and count again. Particularly, this holiday season I’ve noticed the busy schedules. The hustle and bustle of the holidays have come to life and it’s almost as if we have completely forgotten to stop and enjoy this season. Maybe that’s why this year felt so fast. Maybe I got caught up in a busy schedule. In all the things I had to do. All the items I needed to check off the list.
Well to be fair, I got it about two weeks ago at this point, but I had to use the title! For as long as I can remember, I’ve been scared of driving. I’m also scared of telling people I’m scared of driving. Because driving is something people do when they turn 16. It’s supposed to be exciting. But for me, it has always been a terrifying endeavor. I think it’s one of those things that’s hard to understand for the people who were excited to get their license. Because to lots of people, this fear makes no sense. And for so long, I lived in the potential embarrassment of that fear.
It is so easy to get caught up in aspects of the world that simply do not matter. It’s so easy to worry about image, who likes you and who doesn’t, if what you’re wearing is cool enough, or if your job or school are good enough. It’s easy to wonder if your passion is worth pursuing. It’s easy to talk down to yourself. It’s easy to compare yourself to people you don’t even know. And I have begun to ask myself why? Why are these things so easy? Why is it so easy to find fault with me and so hard to find love? When did this happen to us? When did we stop loving who we are and start loving the idea of who they want us to be?
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I don’t know about you, but I am currently feeling overwhelmed. Trying to have a positive outlook on things is something I’ve worked really hard to incorporate into my life over the past couple of years. And even through the trials of the past year, I’ve had my moments but ultimately have tried to stay focused on the good and the things I was thankful for. But I think I hit a breaking point over the past couple of weeks for no reason in particular, but more at the sheer fact that I felt overwhelmed in all forms. Read More